Freedom City

Resting up from the frivolity of the weekend today. I went up to Des Moines on Friday for a little post-birthday treat before the Iowa Comic Book Club’s annual I-Con in Altoona. I drove up early and scoured two huge antique malls there. Found a few goodies, such as a couple first edition books by Alden Knipe (Captain Of The Eleven and A Maid of ‘76). After that, I went to Half-Price books and found a sealed copy of Mark Evanier’s Jack Kirby biography for 15 bucks. I have a really high tolerance for hunting high and low in these places and the opportunity to set my own pace was a lot of fun.

Met up with Carter and Rebecca, and Will later on. We kept it low-key and woke Saturday with vim and vigor.

I-Con is actually a good deal smaller than is used to be. Word is they overexpanded back when they were at the fairgrounds and now they’re more cautious with the show. That’s a shame, as for a time it seemed poised to mimic all the best elements of the Twin Cities’ SpringCon. Iowa’s inability to have a medium-to-major comics show mystifies me completely. We have AnimeIowa at the Sheraton in Coralville and it crushes I-Con in attendance. But Colorado seems to have the same problem, even though it, like Iowa, is jammed with comics fans.

We ended up dead center in the middle of the room, right across from Tony Bedard and Tyler Kirkham. Traffic was mostly steady, and the slow bits were filled with our consternation at the Iowa Hawkeyes’ performance in the first three quarters of the Pitt game. I was getting updates via my Nook Color and it wasn’t pretty. It’s become a running joke at I-Con that the Hawkeyes always seem to blow an easy game the day of the con. Even though they’re mostly Cyclone fans in that neck of the woods, they’re entirely sympathetic and kid that we’re gonna stop coming to break the jinx. Happily, Vandenberg found his last Miraclo Pill for the fourth quarter and broke the jinx.

Syphilitic Cowboys sold well and spoke with several folks who had it already and liked it. Even sold a Numbers because I always sell at least one copy of Numbers. Carter and Will did good trade in sketches and prints.

I had an interesting conversation with a young lady in a Green Lantern costume about the history of sci-fi. I mentioned that the sci-fi novel’s origins lie in a second century work by Lucian of Samosata and I think she was surprised I knew this. I only studied under David Larmour, one of the guys in Lucian scholarship. She was this close to buying a Zoo Force: We Heart Libraries but the call went out for the group photo for all costumed attendees and alas she never made it back. But I made sure she knows she can get it at her local bookstore, through our website, or even Amazon.

The dealers saw some business, but I get the feeling that if this show wasn’t close, it wouldn’t be worth it for them. There were lots of 50% off signs early and often. The show just need a kick in the pants and I think it could really make a big leap forward. Altoona is just too remote for a lot of potential con-goers. I realize there’s venue expense and all, but it would be worth it to go to an even smaller size for a while just to get closer to the center of the city. Build the excitement and interest, then expand. This is all very easy to type, I get that.

In all, we had a nice time and will of course be back next year. For dinner, we went to the East Village and ZOMBIEBURGER! This is a hell of a place to have a burger. I had a double-tap Fulci with a Tallahassee shake. Read the menu to see what’s in those. I’m still digesting it, but it was really good. Carter had the Boomstick, which has a layer of deep-fried chili. No, I’m not kidding.

Next day we went to a lovely brunch at Carter’s Mom’s place, then went bowling at Air Lanes. After a stop at Cup O’ Kryptonite (a very cool place—while not nearly the stock of Mayhem, it is the place to talk about comics that the also-very-nice Mayhem isn’t). We stood in the parking lot of Co’K ginning up more fun bits for the SPROCKET sequel until it was time to make the trip home.

In all, it was a great time, with some excellent loot acquired (comic and non-comic). It put me off a week on the Movie Somnambulist, but I’ll be back on that pony in a day or two.

I so enjoyed sampling and reviewing books last year that I thought why not at least still do that, even though I can’t make it to MoCCA Art Fest. A good friend of mine will be wandering the tables looking for things for me to read and review. I gave him two rules: 1) nothing famous or by anybody famous and 2) a fifty dollar budget.

So all you folks who want a bit of exposure, my guy will be there with cash in hand to acquire your minis, your comics, your whatever. If you think my proxy is at your table, just ask him if it’s for John Ira Thomas and he’ll tell you. This is not a shill for freebies; I’m paying cash. He won’t turn anything down, but he also won’t break the bank at one table.

Last year I read everything over two long baths and offered my thoughts. Except for THE SINISTER TRUTH, which was a fair bit longer than a mini, but is well and truly a fun, frightening and informative read. I miss the BIG BOOKS from Paradox Press, especially the BIG BOOK OF CONSPIRACIES. THE SINISTER TRUTH makes a nice companion to that. Okay, that’s everything from 2010; I’ll get this stack done a lot sooner; promise.

Some pictures from Megacon 2011—taken with my Droid phone.

I’m sitting in Orlando international airport at 509am waiting for the first leg of my journey back to Iowa. I went both ways without a choice between watching how much sun I get for the rest of the year and a jolly game of slapnuts. Carter leaves at 5pm so he’s gonna check out Seaworld, which looms large behind our hotel.
I committed a faux pas at the hotel. I had prepaid for an Execucar round trip and was waiting for pickup when the concierge approached and asked if I needed a car. I said no, I’ve got this Execucar round trip all paid for. He was so nice that it wasn’t until my car came that I found out from the driver that the hotel has its own car service and they don’t like other car services on the premises. “I’m glad you were ready for me,” the driver said in a deep French/Haitian accent. “They don’t like other cars there.”
I am somehow reminded of a funny table story from Saturday: a couple of attendees were looking at our books and I extended a postcard for one to take. They wore complete fox head disguises and had paw gloves. This is par for the course at Megacon, but the reply was repeated grabs on an unseen squeak toy. Then the fox opened his/her hands to show that the paw gloves weren’t suited to hold a card.
I’ve worked around Herky, so I know to do all the talking here. But the other fox started squeaking and before I knew it there was this squeaky pantomime conversation going on between them. This got more animated until one just shrugged. The other fox leaned in and said in a loud clear voice “LET’S GO!”

858am
In Chicago now. So close to my bed now…
Tuesday update—slept straight through to Tuesday. Pics and vid on the way.

Typing this whole weekend on my phone has been educational. It’s doable, but my thoughts move faster than my thumbs. My brain has been extensively clocked at eight fingers worth of typing. Point being that when I get home these entries will likely see some expansion.
We’re looking over our loot and admitting to ourselves that it’s time to go see FedEx.
We’ve got our last bundle of exclusive cards ready. The night’s planned so I can get some sleep before the 6am flight; my ride’s all arranged. Just have to put my sell face on.
We did catch up via phone with Will and Jeremy, which is what we’ll take when they can’t be here. Clear Feb 2012, fellas; Megacon’s a great con!
More after we set up.

925am
Our shuttle driver is a former upstate New Yorker and continuing Bills fan. We commiserated over what will probably be a fantasy season next year for football fans in general. Even with an actual season, Alby was only cautiously optimistic. He showed us a ridiculously short walking path back to the hotel. Traditionally this is a Sunday sort of discovery.
Shipped my grand-niece’s big Pooh bear via FedEx so he wouldn’t annoy the TSA folks with all that giggling when they searched his tummy.
All set up now. The line for one-day tickets was at least a hundred people 90 minutes before opening. The FedEx folks were buzzing about Stan Lee stopping by yesterday. They heard Stan was staying another day due to overwhelming response. This con surprises everyone.
I just sold a Syphilitic Cowboys to one of the security people. He said there’s no cool cowboy comics anymore. That’s about 30% of why we do most books…we say things like “Where’s the cowboy book crossed with THE HOT ZONE that also has Mennonites?” I talk like that all the time.
1045am
I have discovered that the word YAOI in all caps and upside down in a serif font looks to the casual eye to be IOWA. Busy Sunday so far.
207 pm
Mild territorial dispute with neighboring table: the fellow next one over seemed to think it was fine to come up behind our table to chat up someone actively looking through our stuff. The guy saw we weren’t happy and when Carter left the table, he tapped me on the shoulder and rambled about professionalism and how he’s had a lot of jobs. That’s fantastic; but we paid for our space and he paid for his. Whenever I run into one of these devil-may-care rebel types, they’re always mystified when the don’t go over well, that you’re supposed to tolerate them.
I spotted an opening and hopped in line for a custom SHIELD ID as a tie-in for the Thor movie.
2.75 hours to go.
Also saw Brittany, a local artist we met about 18 months ago at the summer version of Megacon they tried. She’s graduated now and looking for gigs.
Sell sell sell sell..
327pm
Things are winding down steadily. About 75 cards left of the 500 and I’ve only seen one on the floor whilst walking around. People are walking a bit faster and hurriedly scanning for anything they missed or think they forgot. It’s always the fall of Rome at the end these things.
424pm
The Exodus has begun! Artist Alley and the dealers are slowpacking and getting ready to bolt. Carter is talking megawonk with a fellow on Legos.
743pm
Am sitting in Icebar amusedly correcting autocorrect gems like “Aristotle” for “Artist”, though every community could use a local Aristotle. We’ve been musing about the last few days and nodding sagely at our good choices. Video and pics will go up late tomorrow, I think.
Icebar actually has a chamber with a bar made of ice. We have determined this would be too depressing to do before coming back to Iowa.

Eyes pop open at 630am. My brain is on my workaday schedule. We put the card outside the door for breakfast delivery, so as long as some drunk nerd didn’t add some Klingon delicacies to the order, that should be fine.
We’re going to try the official Megacon shuttle this morning. I think Carter’s extremely done with pedicabs.
We’re feeling a little rough. The temperature difference has our systems reeling a bit. My Clinique regimen has a couple baggy eyes to contend with.
For a con that comes a week after C2E2, it’s going really well. The new model of a con that is in essence a controlled press release dump doesn’t appeal at all to folks who just want to go to a con. The esprit de nerd here is palpable and contagious. Standing at one of those endless tables of 5 dollar manga, I watched a lady with a long handwritten list anxiously asking the proprietor about single volumes of different titles and realized I was essentially back at the spiritual inheritor of the classic Chicago Comicon. Next year’s Megacon will be in February, likely to get out of the way of C2E2, which makes no difference to us.
More after we get rolling. See you at 10am!

847am
Two vendors pushed past the nice security lady to get early access to the show floor. Two security dudes with enormous necks just went after them. I’m sure the vendors thought they were pretty badass and all, but after looking at the security backup, I feel pretty good about leaving stuff at the table at night. If I see the two vendors getting frogmarched out, I’ll get a picture.

852am
No frogmarch, but they suddenly left the floor as if it was their idea. Now he’s going on about all the money he paid. Waaaah.
1133am
Selling books, doing well. Spotted an arm tattoo that’s half Billy Jack and half Snake Plissken, as if they were the Composite Superman. I mention this to his great delight. I apparently am the first to nail this. It’s what I do.
1248pm
Lunch! I have discovered the makeshift food court in the far corner. The eight dollar grilled Ham and cheese was made fresh in front of me and the sweet potato chips were included. We still have not reached THE RUNNING MAN’S predicted six bucks for a coke, but we’re getting there.
126pm
Suddenly all the anime poster art girls look like they have Morgan Fairchild’s nose. Am I changing?
141pm
Word has reached us that the Fire Marshall has temporarily suspended one day ticket sales because the place is full to bursting. Take that, other recent cons!
238pm
The place is so full, even Artist Alley is stacked up like O’Hare on a rainy day.
256pm
The cosplay wars are over. I just saw Jesus Christ with a cross strapped to his back.
340pm
I just raised the dork level in the room. A couple congoers were dressed like Apollo and Artemis and they had their names in Greek sharpied on their forearms. I checked the Apollo for the correct diacritical mark (which was there), but alas Artemis didn’t have a breathing mark in front. I then explained how there’s no actual letter h in Greek and before I knew it I was nerding up the place. But they were very nice and listened anyway. The cameraderie and understanding of such things here make it an important con to us.
423pm
Things are thinning slightly in Artist Alley, enough to fool me into thinking I could go for a pee. One step out of AA and whammo, human shield. This of course did not stop me from buying something…a bootleg of the old horror anthology The Darkroom. Scary!
We’ve given out about 350 postcards. Almost every sale came from someone doing a doubletake on the card.
1021pm
We’re back from Disney Downtown. Three hours is all we could take of that. It’s the Parenting Olympics to take kids to that place. We ate at the Irish fish and chips place and saw a lot of exhausted parents slumped at the bar.
We hit a couple stores. I got a huge Pooh bear for my grand niece, plus a Donald Duck stormtrooper figure and some odd Lego bits. It’s a nice night. We called Will to catch up a bit and analyse today’s sales. Jeremy called a bit later too. It’s a nice bit of togetherness.
Now to bed. Sunday awaits!

It’s nearly seventy degrees already this morning as I see snow headed for Iowa. Must…avoid…hubris…
The fancy iPod dock alarm clock in our room started nagging us at seven am. Carter hit all the buttons then unplugged it and all seemed fine, for about three minutes. I went into the squealing little bastard’s innards and pulled the backup battery. Note to next occupants—I put the battery on top of the thing so you’ll know. Or perhaps it’s now there as a warning to others…
Anyways, Carter’s in the workout room now (he looks great these days, by the way), and I am just getting my act together. Show starts at one, and we’ll be at Purple 9.

107pm and I’ve made my first wander. Bigger show, good feeling all around. Got a couple DVDs from Media Blasters—I love having a chance to get these things from people who actually have the rights.
No Cuban coffee seller this year, so Carter brought me a double espresso shot. My head hurts now. I think it’s an inferior form of crack.
I’m handing out exclusive con cards while reading Amos Stagg’s 1895 treatise on football on the nook.
157pm
We’re using an Iowa flag as part of our table design and reeled in our first Hawkeye of the day, a young man from Waterloo. Represent!
258pm
Am seated outside the hall having a sandwich. An undead Nazi officer is ridding himself of all anachronisms before entering the hall. Well, he has to wear the wristband, but nobody’s going to pick that much. Costumed groups are anxiously awaiting their final team members before making their big entrance. There’s a tweener dressed as Link; a dashing young man has the Tennant Doctor thing going on. Lots of Call Of Duty marines. I can identify a quarter of the anime costumes. Three ladies from the Mary Kay con next door totter amusedly through after what looks like a liquid lunch; look for a lot of hair to get let down in the hotel bar tonight. Okay, peaceful time over. In I go…
430pm
Our first credit card sale via Square! A very nice fellow who sounded Kiwi or Aussie bought Sprocket and it went well. Yay for commerce!
629pm
I found all the current volumes of 20th Century Boys for 5 bucks each. I have no idea why I didn’t think to look for them here until practically tripping over them on the way to the gent’s. More sales, still just the one credit card. But I did make some folks take long pauses when I told them we take cards. That’s nice, to be able to torture people so.
Saw a guy dressed as Hercules (Marvel variant) and he’s built like goddam Hercules. Pics to come.
After wrap-up we’re gonna go see Sucker Punch on a nice bigass digital screen. On again at 10 Eastern tomorrow!
1056pm
Had a chicken fricassee at the Cuban place we ate at last year. Saw Sucker Punch. I didn’t much like it as a movie, but the kill em up bits were pretty. It just felt like there was a lot of foofarah that was meant to make the whole business seem smart. The movie cheats on its own videogame rules and you could have rotated the dialogue randomly between characters without a batted eye. Just make the movie you want to make; what the hell’s wrong with saying we’re in a world where five hot mental patients fight clockwork Nazis and dragons? And the big surprise will make you imagine the big Aha they had when they thought it up.
We decided to hail a cab, but none were around. I’m a newly-minted fan of independent pedicabs, so I hail one of them. What a ride! The fellow was entirely competent, but our trip required entering traffic and all sorts of things that made Carter uncomfortable. I was a little anxious toward the end, but I don’t climb mountains or anything. This is what I do for adventure. Anyways, off to bed now. Seeya in the next post.

Am currently digesting some brisket from Dickey’s at Dallas/Fort Worth airport. The connection to Orlando’s two hours off and I’m typing the longest thing I’ve ever tried on my phone.
I’m trying to coast on my Droid phone and my Nook Color,  so we’ll see how it goes.
The flight down from Cedar Rapids was interesting, as the fellow next to me was part of a corporate entity that the Reagan administration approached to be the deliverers of paraquat for spraying on pot and poppy fields. Reagan was wanting to expand the program (which, for you kids, was intended to kill plants and or make them literally poisonous to consume—when Jeff Lebowsky calls you a Human Paraquat, he doesn’t like you, man.)
Apparently the stuff wasn’t safe at any level, and fallout would have been too visible even in third world countries. It’s easy to forget all these Reagan-era guys are floating around.
If the guy on the Orlando connection was in the Ford administration, he’ll probably be the guy who designed the Whip Inflation Now buttons.

Well, the second leg was interesting in a different way. When they introduced the pilots over the loudspeaker, they said one of them was John Thomas. I got nervous. All through the flight I thought maybe I should go up there. Maybe they’re expecting me.
Met up with Carter at the airport and found our ride, the guy with a sign that said John Ira Thomas. And I realized once again I failed to claim I was George Perez. It was quite the ride in style. We figure out something every time we come down here.
The lovely Russian lady who checked us into the hotel told me that in the restaurant tonight only the special is the Shatner Burger. I ask her if that comes with extra cheese and I manage to offset her obvious embarassment at having to tell every nerd she sees tonight about this. I guarantee some dork will ask if she wants to have a Chekhov Cocktail later.
We wander down to the exhibit hall to get our badges and caught an early peek at a SHIELD flying car 1:1 model. Damn sexy.
Had a cantaloupe martini and lemon tangerine chicken dinner and Carter wants to go to the bar, so off we go.

Just got back from Des Moines after a fine few days there. Drove up (yes, I drove) on Friday and got into trouble looking around in Half-Price Books. After getting reeled in by HPB’s booth at SpringCon, I wandered into the belly of the beast in DM. Got LPs fo National Lampoon-Sex, Drugs, Rock’n’Roll, and the End of the World, Hunting With Justin Wilson, Opposites Attract-4 Mr Men and Little Miss Stories, Meco- Music From Star Trek/Music From The Black Hole, and Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version of The War of the Worlds. Also got a cd soundtrack of Godzilla vs Megaguirus and a couple DVDs: Sex Madness (a Syphilis scare film from 1938) and a collection of Atom Age classroom films. I didn’t dare look at the books for fear of more trouble.

Also nabbed a nifty package of the first two Helstar albums along with a live performance DVD. Very awesome. Saw Helstar live in Lubbock back in college and I headbanged to hard that I couldn’t lift my head for a day. True story. I drove home with one hand, the other gripping my bangs to hold my own head to see the road. I looked like a serial killer had lopped off my head and thought that driving with my noggin in front of his face would make the ultimate moving violation.

Carter and I ate at Irina’s, an amazing Russian steakhouse. I had a Moscow filet, a long beat-flat strip of beef trussed up with toothpicks to trap spinach, onions, mushrooms, and pure goodness inside. Served with two long asparagus spears and a wavy tower of garlic mashed potatoes, this dish was a monster. Carter had a few baltic pilsners in bottles with that post-Soviet design sense that wouldn’t look out of place in a factory. He reports them to be delicious.

Next day we set out for Altoona’s own Adventureland Inn and set up. This year we were in the main room instead of in the hallway, which was nice. We were across from Phil Hester, who always draws a nice crowd, and started the day nice and relaxed. Then I got thrown for a loop.

A nice fellow named Darren approached and wanted me to sign an original copy of SHADES AND ANGELS #1. A friend had given it to him some time ago, telling him an Iowa guy wrote it. He liked it and wanted to have me sign it. I was mighty surprised. When you do a lot of these and see so many people, you get to thinking that you never see the same ones twice, or that nobody remembers you. At this show I spoke to loads of folks who had several of my books. Note to everyone who has ever enjoyed one of my books and sees me at a con: this is awesome and makes me very happy.

Other fun stuff: we were doing our usual thing of handing out free postcards of con-specific art and a cute thing happened. Carter gave one to a little girl and she thanked him and handed him a Jesus tract. I took it. We spent the first half of the day fretting about and finally swearing over the Iowa/Northwestern game. Same damn thing happened last year at this con—Iowa lost to Northwestern. This being Cyclone country, there was some sympathy about this but not a lot. They had their own loss to grouse over.

Carter and Will did loads of sketches for some very happy people. We saw Spider-Man guru Ivan Martin, who was happy that the Spidey newspaper strip had decided that retconning Marvel’s recent retcon of Peter and Mary Jane’s marriage was the way to go. Ivan’s the most dedicated Spidey fan ever and Marvel flat lost him with that Mephisto crap.

Will drove down from the Twin Cities after a morning commitment there; he was able to be at a couple hours of the con, which makes him a trooper.

Damage at the con was pretty slight for em: PIZZAZZ #1 and #9 ($6 each! Very nice.) and for two bucks I got an old copy of Treasure Chest, that weird Christian comic, from 1957. It had an earnest tale of a father’s disapproval of his son’s ham radio activities. I thought for a while that my streak of finding weird monster figures for my pal Lonnie’s desk was going to be broken, but late in the game I scored. In the corner were two boxes, one marked a dollar, the other said 50 cents. Loose toys, mostly, some just parts. A young boy sat on the edge of his seat behind them, watching me. “Fifty cents and a dollar,” he says to me eagerly. I spot a Sega two headed dragon guy from an 09 Happy Meal and pull it out. “That’s fifty cents,” he says. I give him the sum and he dashes over to the next table “Dad! Dad! Fifty cents!”. So it’s actually the case that I’m getting older and the dealers are getting younger. Dealers, please remember this complement the next time I ask you why your NEUTRO #1 is twenty bucks.

As we were leaving, the organizers handed out foil-wrapped paper plates to each of us and said it was “for the road”. It turned out to be a chocolate-chip cookie, a gingerbread cookie, and oatmeal number, and (YES) a lemon cookie. I-Con wins! It gets better every year and we’re pleased as punch to attend. Seeya in 2011!